In our last post, we reviewed the reasons a man might choose to jump ship on his relationship with a woman. Today, let’s look at it from the woman’s point of view.
Of course, I’m a man writing about women, so you may have different opinions about these reasons. I’m happy to entertain alternative viewpoints, or even debate the commentary below. Feel free to add a comment and let’s discuss!
Women Frequently Dump Men Because…
In the post about why men do the dumping, there were only a handful of reasons. Women, on the other hand, are more nuanced about their reasons. Any of the following areas could be at play.
Bait and Switch
It’s pretty common in the early days of dating someone new to “put your best foot forward,” as they say. And why not? It makes sense to show the best side of you if you want to impress that beautiful girl you’ve finally gotten out on a one-on-one date.
But men need to be careful with this one. Unlike other areas of life, dating is one place you can’t fake it ’til you make it. Eventually, the real you has to come out and play. And when it does, how confident are you that your beauty queen will still be attracted to you?
One of the biggest reasons for abandoning a relationship is when a woman comes to the conclusion that her dating partner simply isn’t who she thought he was. When that happens, and she convinces herself it’s a bad match, the relationship is over.
So men, heed this call – be yourself! If that isn’t good enough for a woman, you and she aren’t compatible in the first place. Save both of you the time and trouble, and find someone who loves you for who you actually are. And don’t settle for less with the women you date either. Lest you find yourself stuck in the same situation, but turned around the other way.
While most guys are decent people, some simply don’t know how to treat a woman. A woman who respects herself and knows she deserves the best will never settle for mistreatment of any kind, including neglect, abuse (verbal or physical), disrespect, and even being taken for granted.
So if you want a strong, confident, sexy woman, don’t do any of this stuff. You’ll attract the opposite, and sooner or later, she’ll tire of the tomfoolery and walk away.
Too Much Flirting
Flirting is commonplace and pretty much expected when you are single. But once you are in a relationship, it may or may not be tolerated by your significant other.
Some women and men don’t really care. After all, what’s wrong with a little harmless flirting if that’s all it is – talking and playing? If your significant other has a very high level of self esteem and confidence, and they have already told you they don’t care, go for it.
But for most women, flirting is off limits. None. Nada. Just don’t do it.
I’ve known many men and women who had relationships hit the skids or fall off the rails completely because one of the two couldn’t stop the flirtatious behavior.
Even the most confident of spouses can find themselves annoyed or threatened by a significant other constantly making inuendos or trying to throw down game on the opposite sex. So if you choose to flirt while attached, and you get dumped, don’t be surprised. That’s how it goes oftentimes.
Not Marriage Material
If a woman is dating you, odds are she is trying to figure out what life would be like with you on a permanent basis. That’s right – a woman in a dating relationship is more likely to be evaluating you as a marriage partner than otherwise.
Even if you’ve discussed it and agreed that neither of you is ready to make a permanent commitment, that doesn’t mean the woman is forgetting it altogether.
And when or if she decides there’s no long term future with you, she’ll leave. Possibly without notice. It happens all the time.
Low Father Potential
As one step further than the marriage material issue, women often decide to pick up and run if they decide you’d be a terrible father.
Maybe you aren’t nice to pets.
Or maybe you constantly complain about kids and parents who decide to have them.
If she wants to be a mother one day, that sort of stuff will not fly. And again, this is a ticket to her deciding you are not a good long term fit. Which may get you dumped.
The Thrill Is Gone
The early days of a relationship are awesome, arent’ they? All that passion, the excitement of getting to know each other, shared advetures and new experiences, and joy all around.
If only that could last forever. Even the most perfect couples eventually get past the novelty phase, and have to actually decide if they are merely infatuated with each other, or actually in love.
Too often, women complain that they have started to view their men as friends instead of lovers. Maybe you got lazy, and sit around watching TV every night instead of going out to play with her. Maybe you stopped looking at her the same way, or talking to her with the passion and seduction she craves from your earlier days together.
This is one that you can repair, if you catch it before it’s too late. Once she decides you’ve evolved into the friend zone, when you were once in “the one” zone, she’ll head for the hills and may not be willing to look back.
Cheating and Affairs
I don’t have to talk about this one much for you to get it. Guys who can’t stay faithful to their significant other either:
- Are simply not cut out for commitment
- Are acting out because the relationship has major issues elsewhere
In either case, why should a woman stick around and be deceived and cheated on? You’ll find very few women who will tolerate this behavior, especially when you aren’t even married. And especially if you can’t or won’t communicate to work on the other problems that have caused you to stray.
So men, if you choose to cheat, don’t be shocked when she dumps you permanently. That’s how it goes.
Similar to the previous points about whether or not you are marriage material or a good potential father, women want a man who knows how to manage his finances. If she decides you are financially irresponsible or inept, she very well may decide to depart for greener pastures.
Keep in mind that your bad credit will impact her credit once you are married. Your bad money habits will become her burden. Why should she take on even more responsibility than she already shoulders as an adult?
So get your act together financially. Otherwise, you are likely to find yourself picking up the pieces of what may have been the relationship of your life.
Of course, as with anything emotional in nature, there could be an infinite number of possible reasons a woman might dump a man. These are some of the more common reasons I’ve come across in my years of study and interactions.
What other reasons have you seen? Women, have you ever dumped a man for a different reason than these? I’d love to hear what else we may have missed.